Quarantine Brain

Today is Day 26 of this Covid19 Quarantine

and while I have consciously been putting a positive spin on this entire experience, today a negative monster just took over. I am always a strong believer in making the best of the cards we are dealt, but this morning felt like 52 pick up with a blindfold on.

I got super frustrated, felt extremely stir crazy and honestly just mad.

I hate this.

I’m over this.

I want to be done and out in the world.

I am beyond grateful for my current situation, I am safe and healthy and working, but that does not negate the overwhelming discontentment this morning. I’m just being honest here since I know for a FACT that I am not alone in this.

We are about to ride out this thought wave so hang on tight. The lockdown situation has lead to some weird snacks, ie: currently drinking bone broth with a side of raw carrots and chocolate chips. Mhmmm. Could be worse, right? It has also promoted stimulating connections, exposed personal triggers and brought to light unconscious patterns of thinking. 

I have not blogged in so long, not on purpose. I have all intentions to blog and have about half a dozen semi-written ones, but for some reason I felt compelled to share the following little interconnectedness on books and boys, so here we go:

A year ago when I was dating (if you want to call it that), Seeing? Sleeping with? “Hanging out with” a guy, who we will call Anthony, we would frequently discuss the book I was reading. 

What was that book?

Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone.

Yup. A very enlightening publication on the craft of the authentic female orgasm. Anthony and I would discuss my readings, and I’ll spare you the details, but looking back on it, those were probably the most in depth conversations in our entirety. 

Fast forward to now, where I also have found myself discussing current titles with my man, but engulfed in a completely different situation. Right now I am reading Rethink Love by Monica Berg, and find myself in conversations around connection, deep intimacy, the relationship to oneself, along with partnership - which is relevant and reflects where my real life is at.

So what came first, the chicken or the egg? The book… or the situation… or the man…

As I am sitting here writing this blog on my fire escape, looking out at an eerily quiet Manhattan, I can proudly say I have never related more to Carrie Bradshaw in my life. So with all of that being said I can’t help but wonder if the universe provides you with all you’ve ever asked for, or if it simply gives to you what you are already giving yourself.

Stay Safe Kids

XO ExWel